Episode 6: What it takes “To Be”
In this special birthday episode of Making Sense of Ourselves, Abby and Alfi explore the significance of the number 42, inspired by The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and reflect on key life lessons that have shaped Abby as she reaches this milestone.
Topics in this Episode:
🌌 The Meaning of 42:
Abby kicks off the episode by reflecting on the meaning of 42, famously noted in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as the "answer to life, the universe, and everything." For her, the number has become a symbol of life’s mysteries, absurdities, and the process of "turning things upside down to find meaning."
📝 42 Life Lessons:
Abby shares a list of 42 life lessons she’s gathered through years of therapy, peer support, and self-help. Rather than reading all 42, she and Alfi select seven that stand out the most, delving into the significance of each and how they’ve shaped Abby’s journey toward greater authenticity.
💪 Lesson 1: You Can Do Hard Things
Alfi reflects on Abby’s journey of starting The SenseMakers Club, pointing to a pivotal moment where Abby chose the harder, unknown path instead of sticking to what she already knew. Together, they discuss the importance of embracing challenges for personal growth.
🙅♀️ Lesson 2: People-Pleasing is Selfish, Not Selfless
Abby unpacks how her history of people-pleasing disguised itself as kindness but ultimately led to inauthenticity. She and Alfi talk about the difference between being nice and being kind, and how prioritizing others' comfort often comes at the expense of personal truth.
🧠 Lesson 3: I Am Not My Thoughts, I Am the Thinker of My Thoughts
This lesson explores the separation between our thoughts and our identity. Abby and Alfi discuss how mindfulness practices have helped them both detach from unhelpful thoughts and focus on intentional self-awareness.
⚖️ Lesson 4: The Danger of "Shoulds"
Abby dives into the word “should” and how it often masks insecurities and fears. She shares her strategy of transforming "should" statements into "could if" possibilities, shifting from judgment to empowerment.
🛑 Lesson 5: Holding Boundaries Can Save Your Life
Abby and Alfi discuss the importance of setting and maintaining boundaries to protect one’s mental and emotional health. Abby reflects on how holding firm boundaries has been instrumental in her recovery from addiction and codependency.
💅 Lesson 6: You Can't Be Bad at People and Good at Your Job
Abby shares a formative story about learning to navigate relationships at work. She reflects on the turning point in her career when she realized that excelling at her job required her to also excel at connecting with people.
⏳ Lesson 7: The Days Are Long, But the Weeks Are Short
Time moves quickly, and Abby reflects on the paradox of how days can feel long, yet weeks pass in the blink of an eye. Together, she and Alfi explore how being present in the moment is essential to ensuring time doesn't slip away unnoticed.